The Modern Day Geek Icons (Men) Part II

You know what I said about writing about love last week? And I didn’t do it? That is due to me being a total asshole. Cheers, everyone!

This is the continuation of my tribute to certain individuals that have made geekdom a more wonderful place to call home of the last ten years or so. Last week, we had Seth Green, Kevin Smith and James Marsters. This week, we have at least three (the number actually depends on how much I can write before abject laziness takes over and I have to get back to my busy schedule of sitting around and watching old Raw episodes on youtube) more inductions to the Geek Hall of Fame.

So, without further unnecessary gum flapping, on with with the show.

Patrick Stewart

There is not a more effective way to endear yourself to the geek revolution than not only helming the Starship Enterprise and leading The Uncanny X-men. As Jean Luc Picard, he led the Next Generation boldly go where Kirk and his band of Federation flunkies couldn’t even dream of going. (I might be getting a lot of heat from Trekkies out there, but Picard was twice the captain Kirk was. Why do I say that? For one thing, Picard never had that I-have-to-screw-at-least-one-woman-per-planet requirement.) Stewart’s portrayal of Picard demanded the respect and admiration of not just his crew but also those of whoever saw him in action. I admit, he was less flamboyant that Kirk, but Picard gets the job done, and he doen’t even have to take his shirt off just to do it.

It was his aura of a natural leader that made him a shoo in to play Professor Charles Xavier (Professor X to the casual comic book fan) in The X-Men movies. That and he was already bald anyways. He and Ian Mckellen (More on him later) seemingly captured Magneto and Xavier’s near brotherly love-hate relationship effortlessly, bringing to life the two most important X-characters ever created.

Even if the third X-Men movie sucked more cock than an entire Clay Aiken concert, Stewart still soars like a class A Federation starship in the geek cosmos.

Sir Ian McKellen

For the same reasons as the above, you can’t ignore a man who played two icons in the pop culture genre. When you possess the bad ass traits to play both The Master of Magnetism, Magneto from the X-Men movies and then Gandalf the Grey/White in the Lord of The Rings trilogy… you my friend are definitely a cut above the rest. I’m not afraid o say that Mr. McKellen over here gave me multiple orgasms the moment he took down that Balrog. “YOU… SHALL NO… PASS!” (That was a statement I frequently heard from my college professors.) And when he donned the white robe from the second third of the trilogy, I do believe tha it was the first time I found a man to be absolutely beautiful.

As Magneto, he was the only watchable thing about X-Men 3 and despite being an actual homosexual (as far as I know), looked the least gay in his costume.

He has that look, you know? The one that exudes power. Exactly like the characters he played. Just have him in The Hobbit movie reprising his role as Gandalf The Grey and my ass is on that theater seat for at least three times.

Hugo Weaving

Now, if I’m inducting people who played more than one legendary character in the lore, Hugo fucking Weaving takes the damn cake. The guy played Agent Smith from The Matrix series, elfen bad ass Elrond from the Lord of The Rings, and V from V for Vendetta. And he played them all well.

As Agent Smith, the guy killed most of Morpheus and then multiplied himself to take down silly Jesus-metaphor Neo. After three movies, he became known mostly for saying the words “Mr. Anderson” in a manner that not very many people can pull off.

In the Rings trilogy, he exhibited all the grace and regality it took to be the one of the top dogs of the Elves. Hell, I bet Liv Tyler would’ve loved to have Elrond as her real dad after that. He has that look of royalty that didn’t exactly translate to having a huge sick shoved up his ass.

And my personal favorite in all of his characters, V. Weaving portrayed the comic book character so awesomely, and did so without even showing his face, showcasing that great acting can’t be hidden behind a Guy Fawkes mask. By the end of the movie, I loved V so much I wanted to bomb parliament.

Be it the well pressed suit, the decorated elf armor, or the black cape and hat with matching Guy Fawkes mask, Hugo Weaving is an undeniable gem in fanboy mythology.

That’s it for now. The last installment comes soon. And I’ll do the women once I come up with inductees aside from Eliza Dushku. Suggestions? I’m more than open. By for now, enjoy my swill, kids. Peace out.